The Top 12 Performance Show: Taking On the Rolling Stones

Last night, the Top 12 took to the big stage. A place where the stairs are even scarier. Where rhythmless people are forced to sway aimlessly. And the judges are apparently contractually obligated to walk out to a cheesy announcer intro…

Here’s the rundown…

Michael Lynche, “Miss You”: 18
It was a good choice, but he is SO cocky, which he showed by doing a few too many vocal acrobatics.

And Kara, stop saying Mick Jagger was. He’s not dead…

Didi Benami, “Play With Fire”: 18
It might have been just a tad on the blah side, but Didi showed everyone how you work a camera. And her recovery after nearly botching her lyrics showed real poise.

Casey James, “It’s All Over Now”: 16
It was okay, but I just found the whole thing a little cheesy. And Casey still has that problem with the ends of phrases. But that super sappy intro video will score him major points.

And Ryan, don’t stomp on Ellen’s jokes. That “people like me” joke needed no elaboration…

Lacey Brown, “Ruby Tuesday”: 14
I can’t really explain why, but I just didn’t like this. The orchestra was great, but she really needs to stop sitting every time. Her intro video may have scored her a few points, though, since it revealed she’s a pastor’s daughter and church singer.

And I loved what her dad said. “If you remain shy, you’ll miss your destiny”…

Andrew Garcia, “Gimme Shelter”: 12
The verses were okay, but the chorus was really weak. But the biggest problem was that he had no connection to the song. And the band was weirdly too quiet.

And yeah. What do you know Ellen? That was not good. And Simon said “Straight Up.” AAAAHHHHH!!! I am so sick of hearing those two words when it comes to Andrew…

Katie Stevens, “Wild Horses”: 15
This was her best performance so far because she finally picked a song that showcased her voice. And notice that her intro video made sure to show her grandmother.

And kudos to Simon for working in a Susan Boyle mention…

Tim Urban, “Under My Thumb”: 13
Honestly, it doesn’t matter what he sings because I am not going to like it. I am SO over him. But after I went back and listened to the original, I realized that no, it did not work. Even Ryan didn’t like it.

But I have to say that I felt bad for him hearing his parents remember how people used to call him a cute girl because of his long hair…

Siobhan Magnus, “Paint It Black”: 17
Am I the only person that doesn’t love it when she screams? I always think they’re a little off. I do like that she just ignores the judges and does her own thing. But I wonder. Is the reason she doesn’t get nervous because she can’t see anyone?

And Kara, Siobhan is not the next Adam Lambert just because she screams. Adam had charisma. Siobhan is WAY too stiff on the stage…

Lee DeWyze, “Beast of Burden”: 19
What were the judges listening to? I thought this was really good. If I had been home, I would’ve voted for him…

Paige Miles, “Honky Tonk Woman”: 14
This just didn’t work for me because I thought it sounded like she was trying to outsing the backup singers (who are really good this year). But Ellen did a HUGE favor bringing up her laryngitis because it made the performance sound better than it actually was.

Aaron Kelly, “Angie”: 17
Although a little blah, this was Aaron’s best performance so far as Rascal Flatts met The Rolling Stones. Kudos to Aaron for finding an emotional Stones song recorded by a country artist (Sammy Kershaw). But his hair was a mess.

Crystal Bowersox, “You Can’t Always Get What You Want”: 20
Can’t we just cue the confetti now? No, it wasn’t my favorite either, but it was pitch perfect. The good news is that Crystal got a lot of help to combat those people who think she’s being cocky. Her intro video was heartfelt and she showed some personality when she handled Simon’s “you came out here the favorite” argument beautifully. And she sweetly displayed her momento for Lilly. My concern is that the pimp spot will jinx her like it did Lilly.

So who’s going home? Well I’ve done a lousy job at this so far this season, but I am 100% positive that it will be Lacey. When you watched the recap, her performance didn’t stand out at all. It was blah and pitchy in places. If there is a bottom two, I think she’ll be joined by Andrew. If there’s a bottom three, I would add Lee or possibly Crystal.

You’ll notice that I didn’t mention Tim Urban. That’s because I’ve decided he’s pretty much bulletproof…

Tonight, Ke$ha will perform her current hit, “Blah Blah” and Orianthi will perform her single, “According to You.” Ryan said that David Cook will also be on the show. No idea what he will perform, but he is always welcome…

See you in a couple of hours…